You Either Love It or Hate It…..

….And I’m not talking about Marmite!

Reality TV is like junk food - you pretend you don't like it, but you secretly love it and then feel guilty after watching it. It takes over your evenings, your emotions and your social media news feeds, evoking the worst opinions in people!

From X Factor and Britain’s Got Talent to TOWIE and Made in Chelsea, the British public cannot help being gripped by tragic performances and other peoples’ lives, no matter how sad, boring and uninteresting they may be. The latest reality TV show to take hold of the nation is Channel 5’s second series of Celebrity Big Brother. I for one think it’s the best it has ever been!

Here’s my low-down on the housemates, starting with my least favourite!

Andrew Stone (Pineapple Dance Studios Star) – aka Whinger
Let me start by saying thank goodness he’s out! It must be hard playing second fiddle to Louis Spence and I’m disappointed in the show’s producers for going for second best, but it’s time to get over it! His story about auditioning for the X-Factor was so cringe-worthy, I almost had to turn over. Being a lead in a West End show doesn’t make him a pop star – you don’t need to be Simon Cowell to know that! And as for being straight, I’m not one to judge, but I have coat hangers straighter than him.

Georgia Salpa (Model) – aka Boring
Watching Georgia is more boring than watching paint dry and the fact that she doesn’t get much air time implies that producers think so too. As for the boobs – I once had MASSIVE boobs and they looked nothing like that. Perhaps she was blessed but I’m not convinced in the slightest. Very tactical putting her fellow beauties, Nicola and Natasha, up for eviction though. Do I detect a hint of jealousy?

Nicola McLean (Former Page 3 Model) – aka the WAG who pretends she’s not
The sound of her voice makes me want to grind my teeth and put my fingers in my ears! I never thought I’d agree with Imogen Thomas, but yes, Nicola is a fake and very bitchy – surprisingly only towards the girls in the house.

Frankie Cocozza (X Factor Reject) – aka Loser
I actually have a nickname for Frankie, but I can’t publish such obscenities! He’s an arrogant child – the end!

Michael Madsen (Hollywood Actor) - aka Underwhelming
Probably the most famous person in the house, I have been continuously underwhelmed with Michael’s presence. It’s my opinion that celebrities only go on reality TV shows if they’re desperate, but I have never actually seen anyone show openly how much they don’t want to be there. All he does is sulk and retire to bed. Total let-down.

Natasha Giggs (Ryan Gigg’s former bit on the side) – aka Nobody
I don’t dislike her as much as I thought I would but she’s definitely got guts, I’ll give her that. What I don’t want to keep hearing is how she is implying she was taken advantage of when she was 21 or whatever. Erm hello? You were an adult who had a chance to bed a slightly better than average looking football player! Stop preaching being a victim!

Kirk Norcross (TOWIE Star) – aka Thick as Sh*t!
Kirk seriously needs to learn some home truths. The first is that he’s not THAT good looking, the second is that his temper shows how immature he is and the third is that he is thicker than my 3-year-old God Daughter. How on earth (literally) can you not know where anywhere is in the world except England (and I’m not even sure if he knows that)?

Gareth Thomas (Retired rugby player) – aka The Rock
I really respect Gareth for ‘coming-out’ as gay, and he really showed genuine compassion during the first task in the house. I don’t think we have seen his personality emerge yet, but I’m willing to give him time as he’s a team player and just a nice guy!

Kristina and Karissa Shannon (Playboy Bunnies) – aka Terrific Twosome
Anyone who answers back to Kirk is right up my street and despite being little hotties, I couldn’t help noticing a pinch of fat during the bodybuilding task, which makes them human in my eyes. I think they could surprise us.

Romeo (So Solid Crew Member) – aka Sweety Pie
While Romeo had said and done very little, he hasn’t done anything that warrants him being further down my list, so I’m going to keep watching him. Plus, I am a closet So Solid Crew fanatic.

Natalie Cassidy (Actress) – aka Normal
She is just a pure breath of fresh air – normal, funny and opinionated – three things I love! I hope Natalie goes far in the house.

Denise Welch (Actress) – aka Hilarious
I am most certainly part of #teamdenise as Carol McGiffin puts it. I’ve always been a fan of her witty humour and ‘say it like it is’ attitude. Because she’s older, I also think more viewers can relate to her. She’s the mummy, the comedian and mediator rolled in to one. However, I also think she could be the flame that sets off some fireworks too!